JavaScript is off. Please enable to view full site.

‘A thousand times, I am sorry’

‘A thousand times, I am sorry’

Thursday, June 21, 2012, 13:02 GMT+7

“So sorry, I am not fit to call Nghi and Hi my children. I am a coward to only think about myself and give up two tiny babies.”

“My sweetheart… I sing for you to sleep, my sweetheart… my baby, my songs take care of your sleep during night… sleep well. I sing for your good sleep… The tormenting singing is for you, my children, but you are not in my arms. My tears fall down on the keyboard, in front of the computer screen where your virtual tomb is located.”

Thousands of such messages have been written in virtual tombs on the online fetus cemetery www.nhomai.vn, where mothers express their great pain and regret.

Nameless graves

“Unnamed, three weeks old” is written by a mother with the username ‘bjni’ on the tomb of her unborn child on the website.

“I sat in the toilet for an hour and used several pregnancy test sticks. I cried and wanted to immediately call your father to enjoy the happiness. You may have been angry with me when I told him that I was scared. I was 18 years old and had nothing, even my love for your father was also full of suspicion and could easily fall to pieces.

When I went to a doctor to see if I was healthy enough for an abortion, my eyes grew dim, I felt ice-cold. I really wanted to keep you but finally my bad reasoning won. Never can I forget the day; I was so hurt and broken-hearted to take you out of my womb…”

‘Vo Danh’ (unnamed) was a username chosen by several parents on the website. There is also Ho Vo Danh, Le Vo Danh and Nguyen Vo Danh, whose parents’ nicknames are boxinloi (I am sorry), xinloiconyeu (sorry my sweetheart), bomeyeucon (we loved you) and nguoimexauxa (the bad mother).

In front of the tombs of three fetuses, Be Ly, Be Sun and Be Tu Ti, are many toys and food that their mother posts about every day.

The mother, whose username is ‘kimnen’ (restrain), writes, “I chose my nickname since I have to restrain and conceal this hurt in my heart, my mistake will follow me all my life. A thousand times, I am sorry.

“During the days when I was pregnant, I was too young and foolish. Be Ly was just seven weeks old, Be Sun four weeks and Be Tu Ti three weeks…. I have performed penance thousands of times, trying to do a lot of charity work for the salvation of your souls.”

Most of the tombs in the fetus cemetery have only a death day but no birth day or, the same birth and death day. Some members set up tombs for up to four to five fetuses.

vo danh 2

Virtual tombs on the homepage of the online cemetery at www.nhomai.vn

Regret

Most of the parents are students. A high school-age mother writes, “I am sorry! I am not worthy to call Nghi and Hi my children. I am a coward to only think about myself and give up two tiny babies. I don’t dare to ask for your forgiveness and just hope that you can understand that it is impossible for a 16 year old girl to give birth and raise you alone.

“I told your father that I was pregnant but he did not believe it and neglected me to run after another girl. Several times I got drunk and cried a lot. I wished to hold you in my arms and sing for your sleep…”

Young parents give thousands of reasons for giving up their babies. “I have not graduated”, “Father was not ready”, “Your father abandoned us”, “If I had given birth, both of you and I would have been unhappy…”.

Over 1,000 virtual tombs have been set up on the website, which mothers and fathers access every day to ‘burn incense’ and confide with their babies.

“Flowers yet to blossom have faded, fruits yet to ripen have fallen, lives yet to make their way in the world have been rejected. There are pangs of parting before meeting, there were dreams which now are only regret…,” a member has posted such a song and blamed the parents for ruthlessly depriving the right of living of their babies.

Several parents speak for their mistakes and express their regret and anguish. A young mother writes, “The torment of conscience is more painful than any bitter words.”

Amidst millions of online incense sticks, the fetus cemetery looks still cold and immense.

tuoi tre

More

Read more

;

Photos

VIDEOS

‘Taste of Australia’ gala dinner held in Ho Chi Minh City after 2-year hiatus

Taste of Australia Gala Reception has returned to the Park Hyatt Hotel in Ho Chi Minh City's District 1 after a two-year hiatus due to the COVID-19 pandemic

Vietnamese woman gives unconditional love to hundreds of adopted children

Despite her own immense hardship, she has taken in and cared for hundreds of orphans over the past three decades.

Vietnam’s Mekong Delta celebrates spring with ‘hat boi’ performances

The art form is so popular that it attracts people from all ages in the Mekong Delta

Latest news