People of the ‘third gender’, commonly called LGBT, are certainly as normal as the rest of us, and are ‘products of the Creator’.

Part 1: The lonely path to happiness for LGBTsPart 2: “Killing a half of my son”Part 3: Community acknowledgement and the role of mothersPart 4: A matchmaking forum for LGBTsPart 5: Love is love

This is universally acknowledged, but not widely practiced, due to biases which strip them from happiness, especially in a conservative nation still bound in prejudices like Vietnam.

As men and women, LGBT strongly wish to lead their lives as they are. However, in reality this is a painful path.

Unhappiness

Nguyen Thien Nhat, who lives in the central province of Ninh Thuan, is an example. He says he realized that he was different from other boys in his school when he was in eighth grade.

“It was a fearful feeling,” he said on imagining how his friends would behave after learning of this. “I tried to love a girl but it is impossible, as I have no emotion for girls.”

At the end of ninth grade, Nhat decided to declare his love for a male classmate, who was his closest friend. A tragedy began immediately. “We two are boys. How can we love each other? Are you gay?”, his friend asked before leaving.

The news then spread throughout the school.

“Friends looked at me as if I was a monster and talked with me in a contemptuous manner. They laughed at me when I walked past them,” Nhat recalled. His parents learned that he had fallen in love with a boy when he was in the 11th grade, and they had nothing but scorn for him. He admitted to his parents that he was gay and they called him a freak.

After telling his parents that ‘I cannot abandon him’, Nhat was cut off from any contact with his boyfriend and banned from going out after school.

Hopelessly, the young man tried to commit suicide by cutting his wrists and overdosing on sleeping pills, but death refused him, he said.

“Before all of this I stood in third place in school academic results, but dropped down to 200th or 300th place afterwards. My parents abandoned me. I know I am ungrateful to my parents. But I just wanted to leave my family when they protested my love.

“But I cannot please them as I cannot be what I am not,” Nhat said.

Ms. Le Thi Khanh Van and her son who is gay (Photo: Tuoi Tre)

Lucky cases

Nguyen Tran Dai Hai, 21, from Hanoi’s Ba Dinh District, is a different case, as he has luckily been accepted by his family.

After recognizing his attraction towards his own sex, he surfed the internet to find information and realized he was gay when he was in 10th grade, he recalled.

His father was stunned up on hearing that he is gay. After explaining to his father that homosexuals are just like any other man or woman, and stressed to him that he would still be obedient to his parents.

Le Thi Khanh Van, 49, his mother, said, “I didn’t believe in him and went to other mothers in the same situation and learned that it is not a disease, it is just a sign of the ‘third gender’.

Hai’s parents believe that anything is acceptable, as long as he is obedient and good in school. Thanks to this love and understanding from his parents, Hai graduated from school and is now working for a luxury hotel in Hanoi. He is an active volunteer of the LGBT community.

Ly Thanh Van, the single mother of a homosexual named Tran Hoang Duong in Ho Chi Minh City, recalled how she came to accept what was different about her only son. “I discovered that he was attracted to other boys when he was 18. Once, I saw him dress himself in a gown in his room,” she shared.

“Apart from this difference, my son is obedient and loves his mother. That’s OK.”

Duong, 25, was even allowed to have his boyfriend stay in the same house with her, and she considers him to be her son.

“They go to work every day and I stay at home and work as a housekeeper,” Van said.

However, Van still admitted that, “My neighbors whispered about my son, but what I see is that my son is happy, and that’s all I need.”