A female inmate on death row has recounted the excruciating wait for her own execution, worsened by her relentless regret and concern for her young son at home, while a father serving a jail term became overwhelmed with grief and guilt at the sudden death of his beloved little girl.

N.T.K.T, who hails from the Mekong Delta province of Kien Giang, was sentenced to death by an appeal court of the Supreme People's Court in Ho Chi Minh City for drug trafficking.

Three others from her ring also received death penalties.

Upon T.’s arrest, her only son was merely nine years old.

“I was devastated. Other death-condemned prisoners urged me to petition for amnesty so that with luck, I might escape the highest punishment,” she recalled.

The next two years became an excruciating wait to be executed in Chi Hoa Prison, located in District 10, Ho Chi Minh City.

As death-row convicts are not informed of when they will be put to death, T. would wake up at 4:00 am every morning to the same bird’s twitter, wash her hair clean and take a shower so that she would be immaculate if death came that day.

Her heart ached at bidding farewell to her cellmates before they were taken to the execution grounds, knowing her turn would come soon.

“I was also agonizing over my son, who was only nine then. He was put into the care of my poor, aging parents,” T. recalled.

Stress and tension drove her to such a breaking point that she then petitioned to be executed early.

“One day, as the prison warder told me my death sentence had been commuted to life imprisonment, I felt as if I were reborn. I then promised myself that I would lead a better life, in order to be granted regular visits by my son,” T. recounted in tears.

The woman was then moved to Division 3 at Thu Duc Prison, located in Ham Tan District in the south-central province of Binh Thuan, where she has been serving her time for the 10 years since.

Over the past two years, T. has become an “orphaned” inmate, a term used by prisoners to describe those either deserted by their own families or whose loving families cannot afford to visit.

T.’s parents have become too old and frail to visit her during these last two years, while she has not seen her son for many more.

“My son, now 19, is currently working as a security guard. He hardly earns enough to provide for himself and his maternal grandparents,” the forlorn mother revealed.

As a little boy, T.’s son was made fun of and isolated by his friends for being born to a mother in jail, which resulted in him dropping out of school.

Years ago, the boy once asked her why she had not done some odd jobs instead of being involved in drug trafficking, which ended her up in prison for life.

“His question pained me acutely. I now try my best to reverse my wrongdoings so that I can be with my son again some day,” the mother said.

Agony over loss of a young daughter

Major Dang Minh Ha, in charge of psychologically rehabilitating inmates at Thu Duc Prison, revealed to a Tuoi Tre (Youth) newspaper reporter some heartbreaking stories involving inmates and their children.

The wife and daughter of an inmate named P.Q.A. used to visit him twice a month.

During these laughter-packed meetings, A. doted on his little girl to make up for his absence at home.

Then the day came when he had not seen them for a month, and his wife visited him by herself.

The grieving wife choked back tears and told him that their daughter had been killed in a road accident, and that she had properly buried the little girl and performed worshiping rituals before summoning the courage to break the horrific news to him. 

During that meeting, which was allowed to be longer than usual, A. burst out crying, blaming himself for failing to care for and protect their beloved daughter.

Major Ha added that a number of female inmates are shattered at being rejected by their own children.

One of them, N.N.M.H., who is behind bars for gambling, was arrested when her infant daughter was only 18 months old.

When H.’s husband and little daughter, then aged 3, visited her, the young mother was heart-broken as the young girl screamed and refused to be in her arms during the entire meeting, despite H.’s constant efforts to soothe her.

It took the little girl a long time to be receptive of her mother during subsequent visits.

H., however, is more fortunate than many of her peers at Thu Duc Prison, Major Ha noted.

Up to 70 percent of female inmates are turned away by their husbands and in-laws, the official disclosed.