Choosing between your family and the one you love is not easy.

“Years ago, my wife and I were strongly criticized for falling in love with each other. The family pressure was heavy, but we decided to fight for our love. I believe that when it comes to love, only the couple can decide whether to move on or give up”, said Dinh Khai, director of a construction company in District 3. 

Khai and his wife, Nhu Quynh, met each other when Khai’s sister married Quynh’s brother.

At first, they were only friends. “Khai treated me like a family member and always stood by me when I needed help. He was the type of person that any girl dreamed of. I also intended to introduce him to my best girlfriend”, Quynh said.

When love came, Quynh tried to ignore her feelings. She did not allow herself to think of Khai since she was about to get married to her boyfriend, who was abroad.

One day, Khai and Quynh went out for a movie. Khai expressed his love to Quynh and held her hands tightly.

Quynh could not admit to her family and her boyfriend that she loved Khai. When she was asked to attend catechism class to prepare for the marriage, she did not refuse. Khai also attended catechism class every day. When Quynh went to confession, Khai also attended. He tried to find a chance to tell Quynh’s family about their love.

Quynh decided to tell her family that she did not want to get married when her boyfriend prepared to return to Vietnam for the wedding. Although Quynh insisted on refusing him, her boyfriend believed that he could make her change her mind. The plan for the wedding was not changed. Quynh felt extremely stressed at that time and did not know what to do.

Fight for love

Quynh was surprised when Khai suggested that they register for marriage. “I wanted to prove that I was serious about our relationship. I knew we were wrong since we did not ask for permission from the families. We intended to keep it secret until I could persuade Quynh’s family to let us get married”, Khai said.

Quynh’s family discovered this secret when the registrars came to confirm the marriage records. The whole family was surprised to know that Khai and Quynh had fallen in love with each other. Then they got angry. The family atmosphere was heavy and oppressive. Khai was blamed for ruining Quynh’s happiness. Her parents forced her to divorce and prepare for the wedding with her boyfriend.

Quynh was not allowed to go out. Her father cried and said that if she agreed to divorce Khai, he would let her marry anyone. Quynh was so depressed. She couldn’t stand seeing her parents cry every day, so she agreed.

The family was surprised when both Khai and Quynh agreed to get a divorce at the last meditation meeting. In fact, the couple had another plan. “I decided to step back to please Quynh’s parents. When the wedding was cancelled, we would have more time to persuade them”, Khai said.

Run away

One afternoon, Quynh’s mother caught Khai accompanying Quynh home and chased them. “We were too afraid of being caught by my mother. It was the scariest moment in my life. We wandered the streets until 8p.m. and did not dare to go home” Quynh said.

The couple went to their best friend’s house in Go Vap District. Then Khai asked if Quynh agreed to run away with him. She accepted with a nod. “We took the coach to Bao Loc and stayed at the house of my best friend’s brother. We were afraid that if we went home, we would have no chance to see each other again”, Khai said.

Meanwhile, in Saigon, Khai’s and Quynh’s parents could not contact the couple and were desperately worried. They feared that the couple had become so distraught that they committed suicide. All of the family members looked everywhere for them.

After a week, Khai and Quynh decided to go back to Saigon. “I thought that our parents would not forgive us for running away together. Coming home, we would face more difficulties. However, we could not live for ourselves only, without thinking of our parents”, Khai said.

When the couple arrived in Saigon, they did not dare to go home, instead returning to the house of their best friend. Four days later, Quynh’s brother sent Khai a message and asked for an appointment. Quynh’s brother said that their parents had agreed not to interfere in their relationship and asked Quynh to go home. “At that time, I told myself that I would marry Quynh decently. Even if it takes many years, I will always try to make her family understand that my love for her is real”, Khai said.

When Quynh returned home, her parents were still angry and did not talk to her for months. Khai and Quynh still had to meet each other secretly. They met at a bookstore, parked one bike there and rode the other bike to another place. They had to return before 9pm. They couldn’t meet on Saturdays and Sundays because Quynh had no reason to go out.

“It is said that next year will be the end of the world. Will you marry me before that day comes? I want to be with you until the end of time”, Khai said to Quynh in December 1999. When Khai and Quynh registered for marriage again, the officer was very surprised to see their documents. “We got married twice, but with the same person”, Khai smiled and said to the officer.

“Since we got married, I always think of how to make Quynh happy. Each time we see our children playing and my parents caring for them, we know we were right to fight for our love. We made the right decision”, Khai said.