Attending a wedding party in Ho Chi Minh City? It’s better to come two hours later than the scheduled time printed on your invitation.

Why is this so?

Actually, this is not a new issue in the lifestyle of Vietnamese people, especially those residing in the southern city.

It has taken place year after year for a long time. And the phenomenon is mainly correct at wedding parties.

However, punctuality is well observed by HCMC residents at most other events, such as house parties and business dinners.

Why are wedding parties an exception?

The fact is that tardiness has been implicitly agreed upon between guests and hosts, including the bride, bridegroom, and their relatives.

In Vietnam, a wedding party is organized mainly to feast on food and briefly announce the marriage of a new couple.

So, it is well understood that guests have to pay for food and other costs at the party under the guise of giving gifts to the new couple.

That means a luxury wedding party held at a high-profile hotel ‘requires’ guests to pay a larger sum.

In the southern hub, a gift of VND500,000 (US$24) is normal. A guest who is a boss, office manager, or other affluent figure is believed to often ‘pay’ more to manifest his wealth or position.

Most gifts at wedding parties are in the form of cash, given in envelopes that were sent to guests along with the wedding invitation.

In this way, a guest does not need to write his/her name on his/her envelope.

With the name available on the envelope, a guest who ‘pays’ a small sum may feel to ‘lose face’ in front of the hosts.

One could almost say that those who attend a Vietnamese wedding are not only guests, but rather ‘customers’ in a restaurant who must pay for their own food.

Empty dining tables are seen at a wedding party when it is an hour later than the scheduled time printed on invitation cards (Photo: Tuoi Tre)

True stories

If a wedding party is meant to start at 7:00 pm, the hosts announce on the invitation that they will ‘receive guests at 5:30 pm and feast at 7:00 pm’.

However, in reality, a wedding party often starts at 7:30 pm, sometimes even 8:00 pm.

Tardiness is so widespread that guests learn from experience and believe they should arrive two hours late as a general rule.

But this rule is not applied to all guests. Some are punctual and arrive at the time suggested on the invitation.

Those who arrive at weddings early may suffer for their punctuality, as they may be requested to sit with strangers while their friends, as the rule goes, will be late.

Since each dining table is arranged for ten to twelve guests, the lone punctual guests are usually persuaded by waiters to join together to make a full table.

A man who has worked as a waiter at a wedding restaurant for about 10 years confirmed that he has never seen any wedding party start at the planned time.

Reasons to be late

“It’s silly to be punctual at wedding parties because you must wait for others,” an office worker wrote to Tuoi Tre.

Other reasons that wedding parties are always delayed because they occur on the weekend, a time for relaxation.

Some blame it on the bride and groom, who may push the starting time back so that more guests will witness their special union, an important moment in their life.

Whatever the reason, widespread tardiness at wedding parties has become a general practice in this metropolis.