A long time ago, the World Health Organization confirmed that homosexuality is definitely not a disease, but many families in Vietnam have nonetheless forced their LGBT sons or daughters to go under treatment.

Part 1: The lonely path to happiness for LGBTs Part 2: “Killing a half of my son”Part 3: Community acknowledgement and the role of mothersPart 4: A matchmaking forum for LGBTsPart 5: Love is love

As a result, all they accomplish is to hurt the feelings of their relatives.

Homosexuals still lack many basic rights in Vietnam.

Mom, I am no longer gay!

Hoang Duy Quang, a 22 year-old student in the journalism department of the Hanoi University of Social Sciences and Humanities, is haunted by the suffering he endured when he was forced into treatment by his family.

This happended four years ago, but “for me it is as fresh as just yesterday,” Quang recalled.

After learning that Quang had fallen in love with a boyfriend, his parents rushed to his high school to escort him home. When he entered their house, his mother slapped his face twice and said through gritted teeth, “Love! This is love. I have to take you for treatment of the damned diseases.”

Immediately after that Quang was escorted to a psychiatric hospital in the northern province of Tuyen Quang. For the first several days he was locked in a small confinement room in the clinic, which was located at the foot of a deserted hill.

His mother sobbed, “I beg you. This is because of my mistake of letting you go far away from home at an early age. Be stronger, my son. You should be determined to recover from this disease.”

Quang said he could not reply that it is not a disease because he was too tired to even open his eyes. He fell fast sleep. He was given two white pills and three pink pills three times a day. He later learned that they were sleeping pills and tranquilizers.

He was given food and drinks when he woke up, and then went back to sleep. After three solitary months of making friends with only sleeping pills that almost drove him mad, Quang told his mother during a visit that, “Mom, I am no longer a homosexual. I won’t love any boy. Take me out of this place.”

His mother checked him out but drove him to the Hanoi Medicine University Hospital to have his female hormones checked.

Now, in his last days before graduating from university, Quang works to help the LGBT community, call for awareness and support from the public. He is now in love with another man, but hides that fact from his family.

After all of the suffering and depression he has been through, Quang said he does not dare to dream of his own happy family.

“The love of heterosexuals comes as natural as a breath, but the love of homosexuals like me must be confined in silence and disappointment,” Quang lamented.

Ms. Nguyen Thi Thanh Thuy (R) gives her speech after attending a conference on LGBTs in Hanoi (Photo: Tuoi Tre)

"I killed a half of my son"

Another mother Nguyen Thi Thanh Thuy, 55 and from Ho Chi Minh City, is so repentant over her actions that she admitted to killing half of her son byrejecting the true basic instinct of her gay son, Hoang Khanh Duy.

She remembers that she resorted to any potential solution in the hope of dragging him out of ‘the disease’, including begging, persuading, verbally abusing, threatening, and beating.

Duy responded with silence and simply tried to complete his homework to help Thuy and do well in school. However, Duy was taken to different local hospitals for treatment, and even to alleged sorcerers.

Unable to endure consecutive periods of treatment, Duy attempted suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills, but he was saved. After that he became psychologically unstable and began sleeping and eating less than normal.

After Duy attempted suicide a second time, his mother seemed to reach enlightenment and finally accepted the fact that Duy loved a man.

“I have known he was gay since he was 18, but I only accepted the truth ten years after that,” Thuy said, sobbing. “I caused him loss and mental injuries. I paid an expensive price for the happiness of my son.

“I was wrong. I killed a half of my son,” she said with tears rolling down her face.

With the hope that no other mother would bring unhappiness to her relatives due to prejudices and a lack of knowledge, Thuy began to take part in clubs and conferences working towards LGBT rights.

Thuy usually starts her discussions with others at these forums and clubs by saying, “I have learned an expensive lesson which cost me ten years and the health and happiness of my son.”