In Vietnam if you have hundreds of relatives, small Tet gifts cost a fortune. In Australia you have ten relatives, huge New Year gifts cost a fortune. I should open a shopping mall, I’ll call it STIVICOM; I’ll make a fortune.

I call this time of year, ‘the big shutdown’. Between now and Tet you’ll be lucky to find that helpful visa man – he’s busy buying votive paper. Opening a business? Building a house? Getting a visa? It’s now or never (well, at least until March) while the workforce sneaks off to prepare for Tet. Tell the teacher you have to visit your sick grandma in hospital? You’re lying – you’re heading to the paint shop to repaint the fence like dad told you to!

It’s the worse time for stuff to break down or need servicing. It’s like magic; suddenly I need a new mouse for the computer as they have a lifespan of 60 days apparently. Just last week on a Sunday before starting a class at 9:00 am, my laptop’s power cable failed. Thank heaven for small local shops with cupboards stacked with cheap, dusty copies of the real thing. This one should last long enough to make payday.

BUYING TIP NO 1: Go to Singapore, Malaysia or Australia for computer accessories. Make sure you pack them between your socks and your toothpaste and then the X-ray machine at the airport thinks it looks like a happy face.

Imagine all those cheap, tacky toys from China – if you can afford a new Yamaha you can get the kids high quality Lego! However if you have dogs, store the Lego above waist high or the kids’ dreams of building a miniature Da Nang will be shattered. Toys worry me here – a lot seem to be some version of a weapon. Try to find stuff that expands their young minds.

BUYING TIP NO 2: Can’t find great toys? Sneak over to your neighbor’s new house that’s under construction and grab some bricks. Cut them into smaller pieces at home. Wa-la! You have a poor man’s Lego!

Try to avoid buying clothes from that truck parked near the bridge. Trouble is, Vietnamese are addicted to cheapness. Don’t do it... the shirts will rip apart as your mum hand-washes them, your dresses’ color will run together in the wash bowl and stone washed jeans with holes in them are sooo last year. Use Google Translate to check the meaning of that slogan on the back of your motorbike jacket too, you could be saying something embarrassing in English! Yellow and purple are the latest fashion in helmet colors from Paris.

BUYING TIP NO 3: Take a sneaky photo of that dress you love, that the girl in the corner of the coffee shop is wearing and get your mum’s aunt’s cousin who works as a tailor to make a copy. Just don’t go the same party as that girl or there will be trouble!

Smartphones shouldn’t be a reward for a good year at school! The cinema, an afternoon at the games center or a good old-fashioned beach or mountain trip is much better for your kids. Smartphones detract attention, reduce social communication and give kids a false sense of confidence. Not to mention the side-effects of ‘withdrawal’ if you take them away as punishment. You’ll also save a bundle of money in phone cards. If they need to call home, tell them to borrow their friend’s phone.

BUYING TIP NO 4: Buy a plastic toy phone – then if they lose the phone, you haven’t lost money. Also from a distance, someone pretending to use the phone looks real. Just teach your kids to smile and nod with their hand to their ear. If they are addicted to ‘thumb texting’, a Rubik's Cube makes a great placebo. All technology should be off the Tet shopping list. Instead make your children learn to listen to grandma’s stories of old Vietnam.

And you should make your own lucky envelopes too – the kids will love doing that. I’m sure you could save about... half a million dong? Invest that money in school books later.

I could continue endlessly but I think you get the idea – think twice this year before buying the same stuff as the neighbors, you know, big TV, big car and big house. Why not spend this Tet talking to each other, listening to each other’s worries and concerns? After all, it’s not about new clothes, lucky money and goodies. Tet is about family right? So don’t spend money... spend time with your loved ones.