Like several other communes in the northern region, in Thai Binh province’s Dong Tan commune, there are several households in which only husbands and children remain, as most of these men’s wives work abroad, especially in Taiwan, as domestic help.

The women from this commune are all working as ‘osin’ (a word meaning domestic help which derives from the name of the female character in a Japanese drama who has a tough life and works her way up to success) in other countries, mostly Taiwan. They have no choice but to leave behind their husbands and kids, even young ones, to provide for their families, while the men stay home, both serving as househusbands and mothers and running businesses founded mostly through their wives’ remittances.

Lai Duy Thuong said his wife, his four sisters-in-law, and his elder sister are all working as domestic help in Taiwan. Only the wife of his eldest brother doesn’t, due to poor health and advanced age.

Sacrifice for a better life

Thuong’s wife left in 2002, when their eldest daughter was in first grade. The girl is in 11th grade now, but his wife hasn’t returned home yet.

“It’s not easy to let my wife go work like this. But we both sacrifice for a better future for ourselves and our children,” Thuong said.

“I take care of the kids and do all household chores. My wife works as a domestic helper for her employer, while I do the same work for her. Just by taking a step outside, we can easily find men in the same situation and can also easily tell them from men of other villages by the sad looks on their faces,” he added.

To offset that sacrifice, the remittances sent from the women abroad have helped provide adequately for their families, many of whom use the money to build big, well-equipped, mutli-floor houses and found businesses. Thuong’s three elder brothers are known locally as construction contractors as they have made good use of their wives’ money.

“Initially, my kids and I missed my wife terribly. She did she. She phones us at least twice every day,” Lao, one of Thuong’s brothers, shared.

Hung, who owns a small but crowded pub along national highway 39B, said his wife has been working as domestic help in Taiwan for almost 10 years now.

“She visits home once every three years. Our current house was built in 2006 when she first visited home. The mini truck, the grocery store and the pub are partly her money,” he shared.

According to Hung, in his village, there are up to 800 women now working abroad. While farmers usually earn around VND3 million (US$144) for six months of work, domestic helpers can earn up to VND10 million a month, which farmers can’t dream of.

“Though there’s nothing to be proud of when one’s wife works far from home as domestic help, it really helps improve our financial situation. Most of these men and families now have much better lives, except a few couples who have broken up thanks to a lack of trust,” Hung added.